Show Me
by Saruvi
Summary: After a nightmare about Muraki, Hisoka decides it's time for him and Tsuzuki to go further in their relationship.


**Disclaimer:** Yami no Matsuei and the characters Hisoka Kurosaki, Asato Tsuzuki, and other YnM characters are the property of Yoko Matsushita.

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Hisoka screamed as Muraki thrust into him causing the boy more pain than he'd ever felt before. The doctor cooed in pleasure as he began moving in and out of the boy. Hisoka was in agony from the assault. At thirteen, he knew nothing about sex except from what he'd read in books. And he'd never known men could do this like a man and a woman could.

Here he was, a young boy being raped by a sadistic doctor on a night with a full moon. A blazing red moon the color of blood. Hisoka thought it fitting that the moon should mirror what was happening to him.

Waking up with a start, he cried. Softly sobbing into his pillow. It was just a nightmare. Of the night Muraki had raped and cursed him to a slow painful death. He was having more nightmares now. Ever since he'd begun dating his partner, Tsuzuki. Yet Tsuzuki was patient with him. Only giving fleeting kisses and gentle touches, not pushing him to do something he wasn't ready for.

But Hisoka felt he would never be ready to feel the agony of being penetrated once again. The pain that one human could inflict upon another with just one act. And yet, Hisoka knew it wouldn't be agony with Tsuzuki. That it would be great and wonderful. Hot and sensual. And he was scared out of his mind to let it all happen.

He knew something had to give. And soon. Or he could lose the love of his life. Afterlife as it were, since he was dead. Thanks to that bastard Muraki. Though, if he hadn't died, he wouldn't have begun to live. So all in all, it wasn't such a bad thing being dead. It just pissed him off how he got that way.

"Hisoka, are you alright?" Tsuzuki's voice asked from the other side of the door.

"Y-yes I'm fine. Just woke up for a second," Hisoka replied, sniffling to clear his nose and throat.

"You don't sound fine. You sound like you've been crying," Tsuzuki questioned.

"Come in Tsu," Hisoka said softly and the door opened. Tsuzuki walked in and sat on the side of the bed.

Hisoka and Tsuzuki had been roommates since the Kyoto incident. Neither wanting the other out of their sight for too long. It was also how they became a couple. Hisoka couldn't call them lovers because well, they had never done anything lovers do and it was his fault. He was holding them back. Because he was afraid.

_I need to stop being afraid, _he said to himself.

"Soka, what's wrong?" Tsuzuki asked.

"I had a nightmare of the night Muraki raped me," Hisoka told his partner.

Tsuzuki inhaled sharply. He hated knowing his partner was suffering from the nightmares again. Hated to see the boy so helpless and frightened.

"It's alright, I'm here if you want to talk about it," Tsuzuki said, trying to reach out and take the boy into his arms.

Hisoka jumped out of bed.

"Why are you like this?" he asked, his green eyes narrowing.

"Like what?" Tsuzuki asked, bewildered.

"So fucking patient with me! Why don't you ever yell and demand I sleep with you? Why do you always come to comfort me and never take advantage of me!" Hisoka yelled.

He was angry. Angry at himself for keeping them back. Angry at Tsuzuki for allowing him to hold them back. He was just angry in general at everything.

"Because I'm not going to rape you and force you to have sex with me if you're not ready. I've told you this before. I'll wait for you, no matter how long it takes," Tsuzuki said.

"What if I'm never ready? What if I can never do what you want us to do?" Hisoka asked the older male.

"Then we'll never do it. We'll still be happy," the amethyst eyed shinigami replied.

"What? How can you say that? How can you want to wait on something that might not ever happen? I want you to force me! I want you to make me want you!" Hisoka shouted.

"You want me to force you to have sex with me? I'm not Muraki Hisoka!" Tsuzuki yelled back angrily.

"Make me want you Tsu. Make me want it. I'm so scared at being penetrated again cause of how it hurt that night. But I know with you it won't be that way," Hisoka told him. "Just make me want you. Show me how love works."

"Alright Soka. I'll show you," Tsuzuki stood up from the bed and wrapped his arms around his partner.

Hisoka flinched at first but then stood rigid in the man's arms.

"You need to relax. I'm not going to hurt you," Tsuzuki told him.

"Alright, sorry," Hisoka replied, willing himself to relax in the man he loved's arms.

When he relaxed, and Tsuzuki felt him become less rigid, he leaned in and kissed the boy on the corner of the mouth, trailing his tongue along the seam of the closed lips. He then kissed him full on the mouth, pressing his tongue to Hisoka's in a way to get him to open his lips.

When Hisoka complied, Tsuzuki slipped his tongue into that warm cavern, pushing his tongue all the way in and touching Hisoka's. The teen gasped, but then relaxed and lifted his arms up to hold onto the man's shoulders.

Pulling away, Tsuzuki looked at Hisoka, who was shaking in the moonlight illuminated room.

"I know you're scared. And we don't have to do this right now," Tsuzuki said.

"I'll be alright. I want to do this. With you," Hisoka said shakily.

Hisoka inhaled and exhaled a breath, the lifted his nightshirt off of himself and tossed it to the floor. He then removed his boxers. He was going to show Tsuzuki he wanted this.

"You're beautiful Soka," Tsuzuki said to him, causing tears to form in his eyes.

Picking the boy up, Tsuzuki gently laid him down on the bed. He kissed him again on the lips, sliding his tongue into the soft warm cavern. Pressing his tongue against Hisoka's had the boy moaning.

Pulling away, Tsuzuki got up to quickly undress, then laid next to his partner on the bed. He trailed a hand up the boy's chest. This caused Hisoka to gasp and inhale sharply. Not used to being touched so intimately. Or so gently.

"Tsu, I love you," Hisoka whispered as Tsuzuki ran his hands down his chest.

"I love you too. You're sure you want to do this?" Tsuzuki asked again. He had to make sure that Hisoka wanted this. So there would be no regrets.

"Yes, I'm sure," Hisoka answered, bucking his hips as Tsuzuki's hand wrapped around his erection.

"Ah," he moaned, the man pumping his member up and down.

"How's it feel?" Tsuzuki asked the boy, who's green eyes had glazed over in passion.

Hisoka wanted to say how good it felt, but he didn't trust his voice at that moment so he nodded and squeaked in pleasure. Tsuzuki chuckled and kissed him on the neck. Sucking gently to make a little mark. Pulling back he looked at the evidence of his sucking and smiled.

"Now you're mine," he said. Hisoka nodded again.

Tsuzuki leaned downwards to take the boy's member into his mouth causing Hisoka to jerk upwards almost choking the older shinigami. He placed his hands on the boy's hips to hold him down and bobbed his head around the boy's erection. Swirling his tongue up and around the tip had Hisoka moaning and digging his hands into the chocolate brown locks of his partner.

It wasn't too soon that Hisoka was a mass of whimpering moans. He was in ecstasy having his member sucked. When Tsuzuki trailed his hand down between his cheeks, he seized up, unprepared to be touched so intimately.

"It's okay. I won't hurt you. Just relax," Tsuzuki whispered, letting go of the boy's erection.

"I'm just scared of this part. I know how it goes, and I'm so scared of it," Hisoka told him, tears falling from his lashes.

Tsuzuki reached up and wiped the tears away.

"You don't have to be scared Hisoka. We'll take it slowly to minimize the pain alright?" Tsuzuki said, and Hisoka nodded, breathing in and out deeply.

He spread his legs wider so Tsuzuki could have better access to him and the older male smiled. Taking the boy's penis back into his mouth, he swirled his tongue down the length of it as he pressed a finger into the boy.

Hisoka reared up in pain but it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. The feeling of Tsuzuki's mouth on his member had him moaning in pleasure and his hands fisted the sheets. He was close to climax so he didn't feel when a second and third finger were added.

When he bucked his hips up in time with Tsuzuki's bobbing mouth, he spiraled out of control and a flash of brilliant light appeared behind his eyelids as his eyes slid shut and he came into Tsuzuki's awaiting mouth. He didn't even feel the fourth finger sliding into him.

As his breathing slowed, he was aware of two things, how different he felt this time. Shaking as his pulse raced and his heartbeat pounded in his ears. And how much he loved his partner.

"Thank you Tsuzuki, that was wonderful," Hisoka whispered.

"We're not done baby," Tsuzuki whispered back.

Hisoka nodded as the four fingers stretched him. Probing for something deep within him. Tsuzuki located his prostate and pressed on it. Hisoka screamed in pleasure as he felt himself hardening once again.

"Ah Tsu! Give me more please," Hisoka begged.

Tsuzuki withdrew his fingers, much to the chagrin of Hisoka who whimpered at their loss and positioned himself between the boy's legs. He slowly thrust forward, letting the tip of his erection penetrate Hisoka's opening.

Hisoka cried out in pain but Tsuzuki told him it would alright and he shook his head, nodding to let the man know to continue. Tsuzuki thrust forward in one swift movement to embed himself fully inside Hisoka's passage.

The boy wiggled in pain, but understood it shouldn't hurt that much once Tsuzuki began moving. And when the man actually moved after Hisoka had adjusted to him being inside his body, the boy relaxed as the pain began to slowly fade away.

"How do you feel Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked.

"Weird, but in a good way. Keep moving please," Hisoka said.

Tsuzuki nodded and continued to move, locating Hisoka's prostate and hitting it head on. Hisoka squealed in pleasure and delight. Arching up off the bed and into his partner's thrusts.

"Oh god, that feels good," he mumbled.

Tsuzuki nodded and smiled, completely embedded in the boy. Hitting his prostate over and over. Bright light flashed before Hisoka's eyes as he climaxed in a violent shudder. Tsuzuki following afterwards with one final thrust.

"I love you Hisoka," Tsuzuki whispered, pulling out and cradling the boy in his arms.

"I love you too Tsu. Thank you for this. And for loving me," Hisoka replied sleepily. He wasn't used to such exertion.

"I'll always love you. Now let's get some sleep and we can do this again when we wake up," Tsuzuki told him.

Hisoka smiled and nodded, cuddling closer to his partner and lover, he soon fell asleep in loving arms.


End file.
